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Saturday, June 11, 2005

frustration of fire

So, today I was writing an email... and picked up my dictionary to spell a couple of words... then realized how I felt picking up the dictionary... the edges are smoke smudged like the rest of my books that were in the fire... december 8th 2001 an electrical fire took my home and killed all but one of my pets.

One dog was pulled out alive but... and I have been keeping my tongue on this because of politics... VCA animal hospital KILLED her... ALLOWED her to die... WHY? because some paper was not signed... even tho they had an OPEN credit card and permission to use it... I was there and I said let me sign whatever I need to... they said she was getting better "might be ready to go home in a day or two" and then i saw from the record they WITHHELD meds on TWO occassions... not sure why.... one girl called and said some form was not signed and they were withholding medication... I screamed and said if you fucking withhold anything from my dog that she needs i will sue you and your entire family... and everyone who works there... but of course i have not yet... did not have the 150 it would cost to get the specific and one and only vet who will read her records and determine if there was negligence in her case... i scrape by every month...

which brings me back to the dictionary... why i still have a smoked book... because i lost about 60,000 worth of stuff... everything i owned... clothes... and books and computers... and i only got 10,000 of insurance... because the insurance company told me that they could not increase the insurance... another neglectful act as they neglected to tell me that they could have increased my insurance if their underwriters were told to check it out and look at it...

when i see a book like my dictionary... or when i put my clothes on everyday that i recognize as some of the donation clothes that were given to me... i am thrown into all those crappy memories... everytime i pass a VCA hospital i feel like crying...

when i was editing the film and driving home every night at 2 or 3 AM.... (and a few times I fell asleep at red lights) I would drive past this one HUGE VCA hospital i hate them i hate them i hate them...they suck... they only care about the bottom dollar... they suck they suck they suck... when i would pass them after editing I could never get past that sign without breaking into tears... of course editing sucks because my animals are in the film... so just coming from seeing them alive... and then driving pass VCA, and being sleep deprived... it SUCKED....

I am not certain if VCA was our corporate sponsor to help me finish the film if I would accept the money... i dont know... if i sued them... it would be showing neglect on their part... I could ask for a letter of apology... make them promise to provide vet care for other fire victims... they knew i had lost my other pets... they should have gone above and beyond... that is just the thing to do for one human suffering with such a loss... not withhold medication because of a fucking paper that was not signed... they wanted me to drive some two hours from where i was staying... a day or two after the fire to come sign a paper... they could not fax it and let me fax it back it had to be an original signature... how FUCKED UP IS THAT????? but they wanted a person whose face was swollen from non stop tears... who could NOT stop crying... to get into a car and get on the highway and drive for two hours...

the animal shelter showed me more humanity than that when they agreed to transport my dead animals to them so they could be cremated... my FIVE animals...

sneakers
monster (puff monster)
lilly munster
thelma-louise (cat)
and Bambi (the one VCA killed)

Their pics Here

I have other pics I have to put up there...

Anyway... it sucks to have all this smoke smudged shit around...

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